He Heals My Soul

I said, “LORD, be merciful to me; Heal my soul, for I have sinned against You.” (Ps 41:4)

God is the one who rules over the affairs of our lives. He meets us in our downcast state and pours out grace upon us. A crushed spirit is the shortcut to the throne of grace.

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, A broken and a contrite heart–These, O God, You will not despise.” (Ps 51:17)

The Lord accepts and forgives those who are honest with Him, who are humble before Him, and who recognize their dependence on His grace. Those who respond to the Lord with a contrite heart and humble spirit would experience the blessing of His presence. It is during our greatest times of need that God pours out His grace and mercy upon us (Heb 4:14-16).

Being harshly mistreated by her mistress, Hagar fled from Sarai during her pregnancy. We can imagine how scared and lonely Hagar felt when she wandered in the wilderness by herself. Yet, God sought her out and arrived at the moment of her greatest need. Hagar was instructed to go back, and the future of her unborn child was revealed to her. Then, she called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, You-Are-the-God-Who-Sees; for she said, “Have I also here seen Him who sees me?” (Gen 16:13)

When I lost my job in 2008, a year of recession, I was desperate to find another job. Job opportunities with my specialty were scarce in that year and even worse, my job skills were not up to date to meet the market needs. I tried to catch up, but it was overwhelming. I could not see the light at the end of tunnel at all. I felt miserable. Then, my heavenly Father took pity on me after another failed job interview.

Heavyhearted, I knelt down and prayed as soon as I arrived home from a most humiliating short interview. Had my heavenly Father already seen my deep sorrow and regret incurred from this unfitting and failed interview on the train ride home? I was immediately comforted by the Holy Spirit that He looked beyond my fault and saw my needs. The door of opportunity was indeed soon opened for me, and I was able to land a new job after eight weeks of being jobless. Looking back, this particular prayer with a contrite heart became the turning point of my career. Before 2008, my jobs were stable and relatively easy. It was like the life of the Israelites wondering in the wilderness. After 2008, my jobs were filled with challenges and new technologies. It was like the life of the Israelites fighting in the land of Canaan. However, God knew what I needed in the latter phase of my career: courage and knowledge. He not only trained me to have courage but also provided me a mentor for each new technology and new job skill that I needed to learn along the way. Amazing!

In our lowest moments, God sees our pain. He hears our cries. Jesus Christ is able to understand our weaknesses and miseries, for He Himself has experienced these very things. Jesus cares and understands our emotions. Once I have experienced that Jesus cares about my emotions, He became very dear to me.

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